Weekend adventure

Finally, a day of rest. Well, sort of.

After last weekend’s disaster, I was looking so forward to a proper weekend, which usually means a lot of nothing – watching TV, cross stitch, web surfing and lots of sleep. Occasionally there’s breakfast with S-Friend. More and more frequently there’s some work to be done, but I don’t usually mind – it doesn’t feel too much like work as I don’t have to go into the office.

Yesterday I got a sanity-saving employee from Mollywood Maids to clean my looks-like-a-bomb-hit-it teeny tiny townhouse. This means that I have to go out, coz there’s not enough space for me while someone is cleaning. I decided to give my pathetic excuse of a winter wardrobe the defibrillator treatment and my Edgars account a work out, neither of which worked according to plan. I got one pair of summer pants on sale – go figure.

After this I took some work to McDonalds. Why McDonalds?  Well, for two reasons:

1: the food (if you can call it that) is reasonably priced.
2: they don’t send waiters to your table to bug you about ordering another overpriced coffee to be allowed to keep your table. So you can sit and work in relative peace, if not comfort, without being pestered.
I returned home to a clean and tidy abode, which always makes me happy. I took a short nap (shopping generally tires me out) and then headed out to collect N-Friend for a drumming circle in Benoni. It was a really eventful drive – N-Friend is a little crazy at the best of times; yesterday she was on top form.
 
Drumming was fun, but I feel I need a few lessons to fully enjoy the experience. I’m not a wing-it kinda girl – I like to know what I’m doing. And I really like lessons.

Today I’m packing up to house sit for the folks while they enjoy a 10-day trip to sunny Rio. Due to renovations, the folks are living in le shack, better known as the servant’s quarters, until their pretty much brand new house is complete. Le shack isn’t a step up from my home, which is saying something, but it’s comfortable enough.

There are three things I enjoy about house sitting for them:

1: it’s a 20-minute commute to the office, against the traffic.
2: they have DSTV, which is a luxury in my house.
3: I get to be close to my dog, whom I love dearly and hate being parted from (but circumstances just don’t allow her to live with me)

Dharma is a rapidly aging German Shepherd, who I’ve had since she was eight weeks old. We went to puppy school for 10 weeks, dog training for another five years and even entered a few shows and competitions – she won a cutest dog photo competition when she was six months old. She came on holiday when the folks had a home on the south coast.

She’s 12 ½ now and her health is failing. We were at the vet last week, where she was prescribed nearly R1000 worth of medication for her degenerating heart and pain medication for collapsed discs at the base of her spine. The vet said that if she’s not back to her old self in two weeks, it is probably time to make THE decision – can’t actually say the words out loud and even writing about it makes me tear up. So I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with her.

It does mean that Baylea Bird is on her own for a few days. Thankfully she’s a very low maintenance pet who can cope for three of four days without me. I do plan on being back to check up on her on Thursday – I’m not neglecting her for 10 days!

Press trip: 0/5

Dear Miss Kennedy

SANParks cordially invites you to join us at Golden Gate Highlands Park, just outside Harrismith, for an overnight excursion for the launch of revamped hotel.

Please meet our kiddie bus at the Groenkloof National Park in Pretoria at 08h00 sharp. We’ll depart at 09h00. We’ll collect a self-important gasbag journalist from his house and chauffer him to a nearby mall where we’ll wait for him to find an ATM. Then we’ll stop in town to collect five more journalists before making our way the destination. On the way we’ll make two pit stops. All this will turn a four hour drive into six.

For on board entertainment we’ve got a Thokozani Langa DVD, which we’ll screen until you can recite the words and perform the choreography. The DVD contains enough images of bare breasted women to get you through the rest of your life, and afterlife.

We’ll put you put up, not in a hotel with coffee, hairdryer, carpeted flooring and central heating, but rather in a self-catering rondavol with screed flooring and a panel heater to keep you warm in the middle of a Free State winter. You’ll need to purchase your own coffee, cremora and sugar. There’s no hairdryer to speak of and the shower is probably the worst designed in the world.

 

After dinner we’ll ferry you from the hotel parking lot to your sleeping quarters with a kamikaze driver, who will do fair damage to the bus and pristine white Jeep.

In the morning, we’ll collect you nice and early so that you can see the unveiling of a special plaque by the Minister of Water and Environmental Affairs, after which you’ll have a breakfast. Then you’ll need to amuse yourself for 2 hours until we make you sit through a 2 hour programme commemorating World Environmental Day. We’ll give you a quick tour of the hotel, showing you just enough to make you envious of all the dignitaries who spent the night in our wonderful establishment.

We’ll leave Golden Gate at exactly 13h00, which really means 16h00.

We’ll deny that there’s lunch and wait for you to order, eat and pay for your own lunch before announcing a buffet in the dining room. After lunch, you’ll be free to roam the grounds or amuse yourself in other ways.

However, we won’t give you a programme of any sort, so you’ll have no idea what to expect and will pack at least 1 unnecessary outfit, the space for which should ideally be used to pack your artic gear.

In return you’ll get to watch DSTV in your bed and fall asleep under the calming influence of the Maluti mountains.

Here are the directions to our meeting point, but I’m not going to give you my cell phone number, or ask you for yours. If you should get lost on your way to meeting the bus, please feel free to drive around until you find us.

I look forward to hearing your response to this amazing invitation. 

Sincerely yours

Amateur PR for SANParks

Dear Amateur PR for SANParks

So, I won’t be staying here?

Instead, I’ll be staying here?

For this?

Wow, how could I pass up such an invite?

I’ll see you at 08h00 on Saturday morning. I’ll definitely get lost on my way, so despite leaving in plenty of time, I’ll be late. To try and find your offices, I’ll switch on my phone’s GPS and chow the battery.

I’ll need two seats on the miniature kiddie bus as I have a gamy knee that needs space to stretch. I’ll check my facebook on my phone, reducing my phone battery down to nothing. I’ll forget my charger and will need you to find someone to charge my phone so that I can I set an alarm for the morning.

I love coffee, so I’ll purchase some sachets of coffee and cremora at the ridiculously expensive spaza shop conveniently located in the rondavol complex, but I’ll under estimate my need and will have to request extra from hotel housekeeping.

To amuse myself on Sunday morning, I’ll trek from the hotel to my room to write a blog post and watch The Tooth Fairy. I’ll make a slightly less arduous trek back to the hotel in a bone chilling wind that will threaten to knock me over. I’ll bring my book to amuse myself with while waiting around for hours on end for the bus to leave.

I look forward to a 6 hour drive back to my car, with my MP3 player plugged firmly into my ears. It will be a wonderful change of pace to drive from Pretoria to my house at 21h30, finding a new route back due to the horrific car accident on the N14, closing the exit I was planning to use.

Many thanks

Kate

Dear Amateur PR for SANParks

Is it too late to change my mind? This sounds like a horrible trip.

Many thanks

Kate