Head space

The pensieve is a wonderful idea, and blogging is as close as this muggle is going to get to a magical stone basin in which to store all that's in my head.



Monday, October 29, 2012

The problem with payday

If you thought payday couldn’t possibly have a downside, I’ve got news for you. It’s a problem I only caught on to this month as I merrily clicked the pay button on a website to download a new audiobook.

Here’s the problem: Payday makes you think you have money you don’t really have. Makes you think, for a fleeting moment, that you can finally buy those things you’ve had your heart set on for the last four weeks.

Like most South Africans, my budget is tight. I toil hard each month to keep a roof over my head and a car filled with petrol in my parking spot. I pay back debt, make sure my medical aid and insurance get their monthly instalment, fill my freezer and then have to choose between things like a new pair of shoes/pants, a haircut, breakfast with a friend, buying something for the house, spoiling my favourite kids, buying birthday/Christmas/other special occasion pressies – basically anything that’s not covered by a debit order or automated payment just after payday. There’s usually enough money for two, maybe three, extras. And a payday pizza, of course.

I’m terrible with money – when I have it, I want to spend it. So payday has become one of my best and worst days rolled into one. The payday euphoria makes me think I can have all the things I want, because I have money in the bank, but the bitch slap of reality reminds me that if I want to eat (hell yes) and get around (yes again) for the rest of the month, I can’t shop willy nilly.

So, essentially, there’s no euphoria around payday. All it’s come to mean is that I can refill the empty freezer, which is a necessary thing for sure. But my dreams of living like a modern day celebrity are dashed with every SMS that says money is leaving my account to pay for the privilege of a middle class existence.

To make things a little less bleak, I'm going to plan, carefully, the things I want to do with that little bit of left over salary – the enjoyment of anticipation. And every now and then, I throw common sense into the wind and spend money with a slight irresponsibility that has me begging dinners at my parents.  

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